The Family Party
“We gonna have chicken and dumplin’s today, so you go out there…I got the hot water going right now to where we can pick the feathers off. You go out there and get that hen and wring her neck for me.” I said, “OK mama.”
And so I went out there and took that hen out of the pen and I wrung and wrung and wrung, and when I set it down it went walking off like it was drunk.
Annie tried it with her mouth open. “Hiccuh!” I began to thump her on the back. She thanked me, bending slightly forward. She tried the breathing again, now panting audibly.
Then my dad walks down the stairs in his tighty whities. “Son thats one fine looking woman ya got there yup” then he lets a huge fart go.
I said, “Mama, if you want that hen killed, you gonna have to kill it, because I’m not even gonna try no more to kill chickens.”
This year, my friends say, we have to use the Buddy System. All I can say is “At least I didn’t staple money to my face”